There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
-Nelson Mandela
Some places you never really leave behind. They stay with you, always at the edges of your mind, their memory never far from bringing a smile to your lips.
It’s been maybe a little less than two years since I last visited the Cavern, and for me, it’s always been one of those places. The first time I felt the Call, I was just a kid, a teenager who found himself wandering around the New Mexico desert. We had been on vacation to Carlsbad, ironically enough, but I ended up exploring much more than just a series of empty caves. That first time, I wandered Ae’gura, seeing the progress of the DRC and the signs of the other Explorers who had been here before me, but I never saw a soul, not counting Yeesha’s recordings and of course the Bahro.
After my return to the Surface, it was a long, long time before I dared return. I still had my Relto book, but my family hadn’t reacted well to my unexplained disappearance. I knew better than to try to tell them the truth, and I kept myself from returning for their sake though the Call never entirely left me.
The Cavern was never very far from my thoughts, though.
A few years later I made arrangements, and once I was sure I had a convincing excuse as to why I would be gone for several weeks, unable to make phone calls, I returned to the Cavern, exploring the Great Zero for the first time and uncovering the truth behind Ahnonay. This was in 2005, I think. While I later learned by reaching out to fellow Explorers that even though the DRC had pulled out, there was always a small, dedicated group of the Called there, again I never encountered a single soul (looking back on it, it seems clear we were in separate Instances of the Cavern, something I knew nothing about back then). After I returned home I knew it would be a long time before I would be able to return. The community of Explorers on the internet, on the DRC forums and others, became like a sort of extended family to me, others I had shared common experiences and emotions with, even if I normally just lurked on the boards.
In 2007, I graduated high school and began my first year at college. I was excited at the prospect of the DRC’s renewed funding and longed for a chance to meet the others in person for the first time, in the Cavern. But a major new chapter of my life was just beginning, and I knew I would need to wait longer before I could return to that place I had now came to think of as my home. And so I continued to keep up to date with the goings-on of my fellow Explorers through the web, experiencing vicariously awe at the beauty of new Ages like Minkata, frustration at broken pellet counters, and a deep sense of loss at the the news of Wheely Engberg’s passing.
When the DRC lost its funding and vacated the Cavern, I knew I had lost a precious opportunity to be a part of something larger and grander than myself. I linked back again over the summer of 2008, but I never encountered any of the Explorers I knew remained within the city (again, they probably resided in different Instances). The trip was disheartening, even though it had been years since my last visit. An empty Cavern was all I had ever known, but it wasn’t enough anymore. I knew we were not living up to Yeesha’s exhortation to make a home.
So when I heard the Cavern had been reopened to us Explorers, I knew I couldn’t make the same mistake again. It took me a few days to make arrangements, and a lot of serious discussion with friends and family, but I made my decision. I’ve taken the semester off. This trip to the Cavern won’t be a brief excursion, lasting a few days or weeks; I’ll be living there full time, with the other Explorers, where I want to be. Some people take a year off from college to go backpacking through Europe or see the world; I’ll be exploring the ruins of D’ni, helping to rebuild them, travel the Ages. All in all, I think mine is the more rewarding path.
I made the link yesterday. Though it has been two long years since I’d passed through my Relto book, the sensation of passing through something and into somewhere else was as familiar to me as breathing. I’d almost forgotten the surreal beauty of Relto, though, a sea of clouds stretching out all around me, the red-golden sunset illuminating the island around me. I remember the first time I saw this place, when I was only fourteen. It’s not any less awe-inspiring all these long years later.
The view from my Relto yesterday evening.
I spent the night there. I’d been planning on making my way to the Cavern right away, hoping to join in the festivities while the other Explorers celebrated the return to D’ni. Things did not turn out quite as planned. My Relto has changed. A lot of the features I’ve added to it over the years have either been destroyed or are simply missing, the Relto pages I’ve added to my book having mysterious faded into useless blank pieces of parchment. The pillars are gone, as were all the books in my bookshelf. I know others have had similar experiences since the war between the Bahro. I can’t say whether the changes to my Relto were Yeesha’s work or whether the Bahro themselves are responsible, but it put a wrench into my plans. My KI wasn’t working, either, and without my book to Gahreesen, I would be unable to get a new one. The one book that remained was a linking book to the DRC neighborhood in the Cavern.
I spent the last remaining hours of daylight cleaning up the place and admiring the view. By the time the sun had set I was tired, too tired to enjoy the trip to the Cavern, so I camped out there that night. I hadn’t brought much with me through the link–just a backpack full of gear and an alternate set of clothes, and a sleeping bag. It served me nicely though, and I even started a fire to keep myself warm (using a lighter, of course; if I ever have to rely on rubbing two sticks together I’ll probably freeze to death).
A bottle of water and a single granola bar make for an unsatisfying breakfast, in my opinion, even if said granola bar is dipped in chocolate.
The next morning, I linked to D’ni straight away. I wandered through the DRC ‘hood, reacquainting myself with its layout. I stopped by the classroom, skimming through a book of poetry someone had left on the podium. The place was starkly empty, and I began to wonder whether I would wander for days unable to find anyone, as I had in the only other times I had been to the Cavern.
I stood in the balcony alcove someone had set up as a repository for linking books, the sound of flowing water drifting in from the nearby stream leading out of the light garden when thought I heard someone else link in nearby. I looked around for them, but I must have just missed them on the link out. Oh well. At least this place wasn’t as abandoned as I had feared.
Returning to the linking books, I pressed my hand to the image of the five-sided chamber and linked to Gahreesen, the sound of insects and tropical birds, the feel of the hot, muggy air pushing down at me oppressively assaulting me before my vision returned. This was just a quick trip, picking up a KI and making my way back to Relto straightaway before heading to Ae’gura. I’d forgotten the way, but the DRC signs and traffic cones still led to the dispenser, and this time I placed my hand inside without fear, knowing what to expect–the first time I did that, the noise it made and the pressure of the device placing the KI around my wrist had me convinced my own stupidity meant I was going to be an amputee.
I checked out the device, and noticed this model had a bunch of new features enabled. My new number was 00159587, and it already informed me of the Ages I had in my bookshelf (how these things know so much boggles my mind!). Most importantly, the display mentioned that I had “Neighbors”: other Explorers were about, and this model would allow me to communicate with them!
Rather than deciding to introduce myself to perfect strangers, I decided to return to my Relto so I could head to Ae’gura, and, well, introduce myself to perfect strangers.
And so I linked.
